Hey, Garfield, be patient. It’s a good service.
-- MichaelCrowley

Just an aside, but maybe...just MAYBE...you should take some mass-comm classes in advertising. Because, clearly, this strategy ain't workin'!

Of course, a lot of that is due to your efforts being analogous to trying to sell hamburgers in a colony of vegans, or something similarly tone-deaf. Look up "targeted marketing" sometime.